๐๐ฆ ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ๐ฅ ๐ช๐ต ๐ข๐ต ๐ฉ๐ฐ๐ฎ๐ฆ. ๐๐ฐ๐ธ ๐ช๐ตโ๐ด ๐ต๐ช๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ต๐ฐ ๐ฏ๐ข๐ฎ๐ฆ ๐ช๐ต ๐ข๐ต ๐ธ๐ฐ๐ณ๐ฌ
๐ง๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐ฎ ๐๐ถ๐น๐ฒ๐ป๐ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ป๐๐ฒ๐ฟ๐๐ฎ๐๐ถ๐ผ๐ป ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ป๐ฒ๐ฒ๐ฑ๐ ๐๐ผ ๐ต๐ฎ๐ฝ๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ป.
Iโve experienced it before and Iโve seen it play out. I had to call it out for myself. And I help other women call it out too.
Because left unnamed, it becomes part of the wallpaper. Just another โnormalโ that quietly limits women.
๐๐ฒ๐โ๐ ๐๐ฒ๐น๐น ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ฟ๐๐๐ต. ๐๐ป๐๐ถ๐๐ถ๐ฏ๐น๐ฒ ๐น๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ฑ๐ถ๐ฑ๐ปโ๐ ๐ฒ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ธ๐ถ๐๐ฐ๐ต๐ฒ๐ป ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ผ๐ฟ. ๐๐ ๐๐ถ๐บ๐ฝ๐น๐ ๐ฐ๐ต๐ฎ๐ป๐ด๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐ฐ๐น๐ผ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ณ๐ผ๐น๐น๐ผ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ ๐๐ ๐ถ๐ป๐๐ผ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐ผ๐ณ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฐ๐ฒ; Into boardrooms. Into team WhatsApp groups. Into Zoom calls. Into strategy retreats. And suddenly, women are expected to keep everything and everyone ๐ผ๐ธ๐ฎ๐.
I have heard it with the women I mentor and coach: Cutting the cake. Taking the minutes. Organizing birthdays. Checking in on morale. Calming tensions. Carrying emotional weight.
๐ง๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐ป๐ผ๐ ๐ท๐๐๐ ๐ธ๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ๐ป๐ฒ๐๐. ๐๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐น๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ฟ. ๐จ๐ป๐ฝ๐ฎ๐ถ๐ฑ. ๐จ๐ป๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐ผ๐ด๐ป๐ถ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ. ๐๐
๐ฝ๐ฒ๐ฐ๐๐ฒ๐ฑ. ๐๐ฒ๐ป๐ฑ๐ฒ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐ฑ.
And hereโs the hard truth many avoid:
๐ง๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐ธ๐ถ๐ป๐ฑ ๐ผ๐ณ ๐น๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ถ๐ ๐ป๐ผ๐ ๐ป๐ฒ๐๐๐ฟ๐ฎ๐น
It quietly steals time from strategy.
It chips away at leadership presence.
It reshapes how women are seen. Not as the visionary, but as the support crew.
So no, itโs not just being helpful.
๐๐โ๐ ๐ฎ ๐๐๐๐๐ฒ๐บ.
One that rewards caretaking and punishes asserting. One that makes women hold the space while men hold the mic, the spotlight, and the promotions.
โ๐๐๐โ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๏ผโ โ๐๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ข๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๏ผ โ๐๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๏ผ
๐๐๐ ๐ฟ๐ฎ๐ฟ๐ฒ๐น๐ ๐ฑ๐ผ ๐๐ฒ ๐ต๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ฟ:
โ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๏ผโ โ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ก๐๏ผโ โ๐๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ข.”
๐ง๐ต๐ถ๐ ๐ถ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ผ๐ณ๐ณ๐ถ๐ฐ๐ฒ ๐ถ๐ป๐๐ถ๐๐ถ๐ฏ๐น๐ฒ ๐น๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐ฑ๐ผ๐ฒ๐
It hides women behind applause.
It softens their presence in rooms where clarity and boldness should shine.
It stalls their leadership while praising their loyalty.
So yes, care work matters. But when it becomes a default burden and never a path to recognition or growth, it must be questioned.
๐๐ฒ๐โ๐ ๐๐๐ผ๐ฝ ๐ป๐ผ๐ฟ๐บ๐ฎ๐น๐ถ๐๐ถ๐ป๐ด ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐พ๐๐ถ๐ฒ๐ ๐น๐ฎ๐ฏ๐ผ๐๐ฟ ๐๐ต๐ฎ๐ ๐ฐ๐ผ๐๐๐ ๐๐ผ๐บ๐ฒ๐ป ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฟ ๐๐ถ๐๐ถ๐ฏ๐ถ๐น๐ถ๐๐, ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฟ ๐๐ผ๐ถ๐ฐ๐ฒ, ๐ฎ๐ป๐ฑ ๐๐ต๐ฒ๐ถ๐ฟ ๐ฟ๐ถ๐ด๐ต๐๐ณ๐๐น ๐๐ฒ๐ฎ๐ ๐ฎ๐ ๐๐ต๐ฒ ๐๐ฎ๐ฏ๐น๐ฒ
Letโs call it what it is. Letโs ask the hard questions.
And letโs start saying with clarity and courage
This work matters. But it cannot always be mine.
